When I was still working, I used to keep a copy of a little poem posted on a bulletin board in my office. It was about the dangers of the tongue as viewed across many cultures throughout the world:
“The boneless tongue, so small and weak
can crush and kill,” declared the Greek
The Persian proverb wisely saith,
“A lengthy tongue, an early death.”
Sometimes it takes this form instead:
“Don’t let your tongue cut off your head.”
While Arab sages this impart:
“The tongue’s great storehouse is the heart.”
From Hebrew wit, the maxim sprung:
“Though feet should slip, don’t let the tongue.”
A verse from Scripture crowns the whole:
“Who keeps the tongue doth keep his soul.”
One of my favorite literary characters is Josephine March from Little Women. This irrepressible young woman would often allow her tongue to get the better of her, and indeed, one day her efforts to impress a captive audience cost her a much longed-for extended tour of Europe. When she learned the consequences of her careless words, she cried out in despair, “My tongue! My abominable tongue!”
I have often wanted to echo Jo’s despairing cry. An angry word, a disparaging remark, some idle gossip, a pointless joke at someone else’s expense; I say things I’m immediately sorry for and wonder why I can never learn to keep my mouth shut. It’s like the proverbial analogy of toothpaste oozing out of the tube: once it’s out you can never put it back in. I can never take back the words, and no matter how much I may apologize, a barb has been left in someone’s heart.
In this world we live in, I find that my virtual tongue is as prone to mischief as my literal tongue. Social media can get me into all kinds of trouble. I can laugh along with the silly jokes without any regard to their lack of kindness or even their reliability. I’m always pretty cautious about which groups I join on Facebook and am careful to stay away from the turmoil of politics, pop culture, and worldviews that don’t align with mine. However, even being careful doesn’t always protect me. A few weeks ago, I was reading something that had been posted on what I considered to be a pretty safe group, fans of a certain popular book series. The majority of the members of this group are women, and I believe most of them would claim to be women of faith. This particular post was actually a re-post from another group site, and it was a series of meant-to-be-amusing anecdotes about the author’s experiences with employees in the fast-food industry, retail clerks employed by some of our larger nationwide retail establishments, and service workers, etc. The anecdotes weren’t very complimentary, but I found myself chuckling along and even shaking my head in disbelief, until I came to an anecdote about the author’s conversation with another woman who was standing beside her while they waited for the signal to change so that they could safely cross the street. “What is that chirping noise I hear?” asked the other woman. The author explained to her that “it signals blind people when the light is red.” To which the other woman replied, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!” And then came the author’s comment that yanked my chain and pulled me up short. I could almost hear the superior smugness in her voice. “She was a government employee,” as if that explained …everything.
Woah. Wait a minute.
You see, the last 27 years of my adult working life was spent working in County government. I was a government employee! Suddenly this post was no longer funny. The finger was now pointed at me. I was the butt of an unkind, unnecessary, and probably exaggerated “joke”, and it occurred to me that whoever had authored this post had painted large segments of our society with a very broad and unkind brush. The implication was that ALL fast-food workers, ALL retail clerks, ALL service workers, and ALL government employees are as dumb as rocks. All too often I have allowed myself to be beguiled into laughing along, or commenting on, or agreeing with, posts that are unverifiable, exaggerated, and very simply unkind. Yikes!
Sadly, as I scrolled down through the comments for this post, comment after comment was equally unkind, all commiserating with the poor author for having had to put up with so much “stupidity.” Many of them had an experience of their own to share. There was not one commenter that came to the defense of anyone that had been skewered by the post; not one commenter that suggested that the post was perhaps inappropriate for this group.
James has a lot to say about the tongue. In James 1:19, he urges us to be “slow to speak.” In James 3:5, he compares the tongue to fire. “How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!” In James 3:8 and 9, “No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.”
Not long ago, I was searching through old Bible Study binders for something that I had misplaced. In my search, I ran across a colorful card that has come to be a very useful tool, a litmus test that I use as I seek, with God’s help, to tame my own “boneless tongue.”
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:8
The wise king Solomon said it well in Proverbs 10:19: “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”